SET YOUR LIFE-BAR. BE CLEAR-NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR WANTING MORE

Be Bold Enough To Walk Away From Anything That Doesn’t Match Your Standards

By Nankwanga Eunice Kasirye

“If you don’t set a baseline standard for what you will accept in life, you’ll find it’s easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes and a quality of life far below what you deserve.”
— Tony Robbins

In a world where noise is constant and the pressure to conform is relentless, many people forget the power of having a personal standard. A life-bar. A personal benchmark. A non-negotiable threshold that says, this is what I stand for, and this is how I expect to be treated. If you don’t set your life-bar, the world will set it for you—most often, far below your worth.

Setting a life-bar is not arrogance. It’s clarity. It’s not being rigid—it’s being rooted.

Your life-bar is directly tied to your self-esteem. When your standards are low or undefined, it signals to yourself and others that you believe you deserve less. The consequences of that mindset silently influence your decisions, relationships, goals, and even your self-talk.

The Woman Who Set the Standard

My mother, Kekrine (RIP), was a woman of substance. Medium height, chocolate skin, full of force and presence. She had this signature walk—forward-leaning, like someone always ready for a face-off with life. Her voice was deep, sharp, and authoritative—like thunder speaking through a woman.

She didn’t just teach me about standards—she embodied them. Maama lived like she was born for more than just survival. She didn’t settle. She didn’t compromise. To her, second place didn’t exist. There was only being the best of who you are. There were no “Plan Bs”—only Plan A, done right.

What stood out most was how unapologetically she drew the line. Her life-bar wasn’t up for debate. Whether or not people cheered her on didn’t matter. Whether society understood or not—irrelevant. Her eyes were fixed on her own standard of life, dignity, purpose, and expression.

"You get what you tolerate."
— Henry Cloud

Maama didn’t tolerate mediocrity, excuses, or weak attitudes—not from others and certainly not from herself. And she made sure I learned that.

She would say, “You don’t need people’s validation to know who you are. Set your life-bar and let the world adjust, or walk away.” This was her gospel. It didn't matter where you came from, whether you were privileged or not. What mattered was whether you had a personal code, a set of values, a limit.

To Maama, teamwork only made sense if you were building with champions. And champions, she insisted, weren’t defined by their positions or material gains—but by their attitude. If your attitude was right, you could fly without wings.

Why You Must Have a Life-Bar

To be a “no-boundaries” person—a “whatever goes” kind of individual—isn’t just reckless, it’s self-sabotaging. People without standards tend to drift, easily swayed by circumstances, peer pressure, or fleeting emotions. They tolerate disrespect. They accept less than they deserve. Eventually, they become bitter, not because others mistreated them, but because they failed to define what they could or could not accept.

You need a limit. A place where you firmly say, “No. Not below this.”

When you set your life-bar:

• You begin to respect yourself more.
• You communicate your worth without needing to explain it.
• You attract people and opportunities that align with your energy.
• You create internal peace, because you're no longer in conflict with your own values.

“Raise your standards and the universe will meet you there.”
— Danielle LaPorte

This Has Nothing to Do with Money

Don’t confuse setting a life-bar with being materialistic. It’s not about how much money you have or what car you drive. It’s about what your personality can command. It's about integrity, how you let others treat you, how you show up when no one’s watching.

Your life-bar dictates your habits, your discipline, your resilience. It’s in how you speak to yourself when you fail. It’s in how you refuse to shrink to make others comfortable.

You don’t need to lower your life-bar to fit in. No. The right people will rise to meet you there. And those who don’t? They were never your tribe to begin with.

You don’t need to explain your standards, and you certainly don’t need to apologize for them.

“We are the sum of our habits. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
— Aristotle

Setting a life-bar is also about identity repetition. The more you practice holding yourself to higher standards, the more it becomes second nature. If you want to be confident, act confident—even before you fully feel it. If you want to be respected, carry yourself with dignity—even before others offer it.

Fake it? No. Form it. Repetition is the mother of mastery. You are building a version of yourself you’ll be proud to be alone with.

Stand Firm, Stay Clear

Your life-bar becomes your compass. It guides your daily decisions, your associations, your boundaries. It gives your “No” the same power as your “Yes.” It builds a version of you that is anchored, not easily thrown around by society’s storms.

"Don’t lower your standards. Increase your effort."
— Tom Bilyeu

If there’s one gift you can give yourself this year, it’s the gift of clarity. Be clear on who you are. Be clear on what you can and cannot accept. Be clear on the energy you allow around you.

And finally, Be Bold Enough To Walk Away From Anything That Doesn’t Match Your Standards. Because you are not here to shrink. You are here to shine